Why Guys Have “Better” Friendships?

Here’s a weird thing I’ve noticed. Boys – although not the chitty chat type – can make better friendships than girls. But how?? Notice I said better…not more. A boy can have like 2 or 3 guys who mean the world to him, even after a short time. But with girls, it takes ages to know a person well enough and count her in. I can’t really be sure why that happens, but I can guess

1-Gossip: Girls are captivated by gossip. As much as it brings friends close, it brings enemies closer. A leaked gossip is more deadly than it sounds and can destroy an early friendship for good. An even if things get along fine with an apology and “I didn’t mean to say that”, it is still pretty much carved in a girl’s memory that someone was bad-mouthing her, even if it was as silly as “Her earrings don’t match her blouse”!

Gossip is there, and it’s always going to be. So let’s just try to keep our mouths a little more “shut”. No bad-mouthing, No gossip-leaking and No big deal. Even if you did hear someone saying something bad about you, use your head. Don’t just break a friendship over something as silly as your style or your music taste, talk to the girl if she said something major and find out if this friendship can go on and whether the issue can be peacefully resolved.

2-Sensitivity: Nobody’s perfect. Everyone is likely to be hurt by a friend one way or the other, that’s life. But the problem with some girls is although they perfectly understand and approve of this fact, they cannot take it when that happens. Every mistake is a major mistake that shakes the grounds of friendships, especially within groups. In groups, all girls are the same at first, but as life goes on, trouble brews and each girl tends to make a big deal out of every issue that eventually turns early friends or friends-to-be into enemies.

Don’t be a drama queen for God’s sake! If you believe all our relations with each other is all smiles and sunshine, then you’re either naïve or from another galaxy. In both cases, lighten up. I know we all tend to get angry over problems, and I’m no exception. It’s all about handling matters more quietly once you’ve cooled off. Open your heart and give your friends another chance. Apologize with a heart-warming smile, and more importantly, with the deep desire to go on with this friendship like nothing has ever happened.

3-Competition: Some girls get too competitive when it comes to other girls. A girl may not want to be friends with someone smarter, more beautiful or more popular. Some girls have this crazy idea that a having better girl for a best friend “masks” your good qualities and make them magically invisible to others, when actually, you can learn a lot from a friends and you sure have a lot to teach her, which takes me to my next point…

No girl is identical to the other and each of us has that special thing that gives her an identity, so definitely people see in a girl what she can’t see in herself, especially if she is haunted by the ghost of comparison. So don’t go around analyzing people like you’re a robot, just live the moment and enjoy your friendships, they’re priceless.

4- Differences: We know that variety is the nature of humans since the dawn of time. So it is absurd to try and find that friend who’s just like you. Some people find friends who are….let’s say…”close enough”. In such a case people tend to overlook minor differences and happily get along. But the problem arises when differences are just a little too big to handle. We sometimes hear stuff from “She hates the way I dress” and “She listens to metal” to “She’s too angry” or “She thinks she’s the boss of me”

Learn to accept your friends for whom they are. That doesn’t mean you just have to “deal with it” nor does this oblige you to be friends with people you don’t get along with. Just accept and love your friends. Major differences can kick a girl out of your “Green light list” (Don’t search for that on Google, I just made it up ) but it doesn’t kick her out of your life. Treat a different girl like a tourist…nicely although you come from two different worlds. Being nice to people who know they are different from you will make them deeply appreciate your tolerance and eventually could bring you closer, and if not, will make them treat you with the same loving attitude you showed them.

5-Distance: Now that’s the real wrecker, it drifts people apart like a hurricane. Last year my best friend Dina immigrated to Canada. Of course those SMSs and e-mails were there, but her killer college barely gave her time to eat! So I got answers after I already forgot I sent that mail. Friends tend to come and go, even within the same country, but it’s just not the same anymore is it?? Once you leave school, college friends take over, once you leave college, co-workers take over…And it goes on…

As much as distance takes away many joyful moments that you could have spent with your friend, having a solid bond from the start can make you still be as close as ever. Nowadays, we have all types of communications, and let me tell you a little secret….it’s all about sharing. If you exchange news with that best friend who’s away, both of you will be dying to know what goes in each other’s lives, just as if you live next door.

6- Boys: Whether it’s the new boyfriend, the fiancée or even the husband, boys tend to take up our time. There’s always this time they take from us with all the phone calls, outings, visits, housewife chores…whatever. There’s a lot a girl tends to do for her partner, even if he does more for her…a lot of time they spend talking, even if she’s the chatty one. It all just takes up time and attention that friends are lucky if they have some time to get together or talk or go shopping.

In every relationship, you get to have some “Me” time. It’s not only a fact of life, in fact it helps defend you relationship against boredom, so the trick is to wisely use this “Me” time. If all you do on your “Me” time is go to a spa, get a manicure or buy new shoes, you’re most likely to end up alone and miserable (No offense, boys…I know you guys make good company too!) The thing is to make some time to listen to your friends, whether they have problems or just want to chat. Another smart idea is to engage your friends in your favorite activities. Go on a picnic together, search together for that awesome place for your other friends’ surprise party. Just do stuff together, whatever you like.

So start now, connect to old friends, (Facebook isn’t just for games and videos) make new ones and show everyone you care. Make a list of your activities and see who would like to share what…and you’ll see the difference:)